In my previous post I discussed having experienced a series of crises several years ago that I colloquially referred to as a shit storm and offered some tips and tools for any who might be experiencing such a situation at the moment. Me and my family are NOT experiencing a shit storm presently (thank all the Gods and Goddesses that ever were and are). The thing is, since I’ve had such an experience, anything – ANYTHING – that even looks like the beginnings of one causes this knee-jerk reaction for me. Probably because I’m not done healing from the first one (I’m working on it, but, like everything else, it’s a process), but regardless, that’s where I am right now. Literally begging the Universe to please not make us experience it again, doing my best to stay in the Present, and working to release the fear that’s rising like bile.
I created this space as a Temple, as a place of healing for myself and any who came to visit here. As a place of prayer, of meditation, the pursuit of growth. I write under a pseudonym both to highlight an aspect of myself which I want to feed energy and for the protection of anonymity. Right now, though, I can see the potential of a storm brewing. Sitting with how much damage and hurt my family and I experienced during the last one, I am willing to do whatever I need to avoid another. So I am going to take some of my own advice, use one of my own tools (and it’s among the last that I’ve NOT yet used everywhere I can), and ask for your help.job
Back in the middle of December, we met with our landlord preparing to renew the lease on our house (as we had discussed with him several times in the preceding months) only to learn that he and his wife have decided to move back in. My wife (the primary “breadwinner” in our family) had just lost her job, my freelance writing work was/is experiencing a bit of a slow period, L’s work is inconsistent, and we were living paycheck to paycheck as it was – i.e., coming up with first, last, and security for a new place was about as probable as our dog unlocking the secret to cold fusion. Given how sick my pregnant wife has been (not just from being pregnant – she’s had this nasty virus since September that no doctors have been able to help her get rid of to date), we determined that my getting another, more consistent job would at least help. Done. I got a waitressing job at a country club where I make an hourly wage (no tips) and started about a week and a half ago and am really enjoying it.
One of the things this experience has really brought to our attention is the dis-empowerment we experience at being at the mercy of the whim of another person (in this case, our landlord – our credit and income isn’t high enough to qualify for a traditional loan or even an FHA loan which we’ve tried before). It also made us exceedingly aware of how much stuff we hold on to (remember that non-attachment post?). So we decided we wanted to seriously scale things back and take a more minimalist approach to our life. We started researching Tiny houses, though, on learning that in Florida, it’s illegal to live off-grid and that Tiny houses don’t have fully functional indoor plumbing (the toilets are basically outhouses with pretty wrapping), we decided that “Small house living” would be a better fit. Small houses are typically a bit bigger than Tiny ones (though on some sites I’ve found “Small houses” that are bigger than the one we live in now – I think once you surpass 1500 sq ft you don’t get to be called a Small house) and are permanent structures. So, in the spirit of asking for help, I started a gofundme campaign. We’ve received $400 so far toward our $15,000 goal (which would go a long way toward the cost of purchasing land and building materials since we would build it ourselves).
The difficulty arises in that our income has decreased by more than half with the loss of my wife’s job. Our landlord agreed to give us an extension on paying our December rent until January 7th after I explained about the job loss (yes, that would be the day after tomorrow), and we still don’t have it. I was celebrating in the car on my way to work when I got an extension for our water bill and I’m waiting until the last minute to pay the electric bill before our electricity gets shut off. We’ve asked everyone we know that could possibly financially assist us for loans and they’re either not able to or we haven’t heard back from them yet. I have no idea what will happen on the 7th. I’m trying desperately to maintain faith that this will work out, that my family and I won’t have to experience the pain and heartache of being evicted (again), that the magic I’ve worked will manifest in time and in the way I intended, that it’s in alignment with whatever the Divine wills. I’m working to release doubt and fear, to not let my emotions overwhelm me.
I believe in magic, I believe in people, I believe that people genuinely wish to help others, I believe we are all connected, I believe in Love, and I believe that my family and I will get through this, however it turns out, and that we will learn and grow.
The first time I was faced with this type of experience, I withdrew, I crawled into myself and hid, letting my shame and fears overpower everything else. This time, I’m trying something different. I’m reaching out. I’m asking for help. I’m trusting in Love, in that which connects us all, in the Divine, and in you.
Ways to help:
- To provide immediate financial assistance, please email me at aerolin979 @ gmail.com (thegofundme campaign takes several days to wire the money to our account which won’t help us with rent)
- To donate to our gofundme campaign, access the campaign here: http://www.gofundme.com/powellmalleyfamily
- Like and share our campaign on your Facebook page to help us reach more people
- Send positive energy that we will be able to pay rent by this Wednesday
Whoever you are, whatever your path, I hope you never have to experience this, that whatever lessons you need to learn this time around you can do so through some less challenging means, and if you are able to help me and my family that the Divine blesses you exponentially. ❤